Cheese Apocalypse

[Intro] [A crackling inferno rises, distant screams melt into a low, cheesy groan. A power chord strikes, then a lurching, swampy riff oozes forward.] [Verse 1] From the molten depths where the cheddar runs red Two abominations raise their gouda-crusted heads One wears aviators, cool against the blaze The other glares green envy through the smoke and haze Crimson eyes are b*****g on the upper fiend Clawed limbs of parmesan, the sharpest ever seen Floating chunks of brie ignite and spiral high A totem of the damned beneath a lactose sky [Pre-Chorus] This ain’t no fondue party, this is holy dread The fridge door’s open and the mold has spread [Chorus] Welcome to the cheese apocalypse A monstrous, melty metamorphosis Sunglasses and jagged teeth, absurd and so obscene Hellfire and fromage in a fever dream We’re laughing while we’re screaming, it’s a dairy nightmare scene The cheese apocalypse, a killer cuisine [Verse 2] Sickly yellow curds in a charred and crusted mass Demonic squeaky clean, the terror’s first class Smoky tendrils curling at the creature’s base Hide the lower monster’s ever-grinning face A swirling purple backdrop like a rock ‘n’ roll poster The smell of toasted chaos, a supernatural roaster They’re monumentally evil, dripping with decay But you can’t help but chuckle as they’re melting away [Pre-Chorus] This ain’t no midnight snack, no comfort food retreat The cheese is sentient and craving meat [Chorus] Welcome to the cheese apocalypse A monstrous, melty metamorphosis Sunglasses and jagged teeth, absurd and so obscene Hellfire and fromage in a fever dream We’re laughing while we’re screaming, it’s a dairy nightmare scene The cheese apocalypse, a killer cuisine [Bridge] Is it horror? Is it comedy? A boss battle with brie? The glow of emerald eyes is asking “Are you gonna flee?” You can taste the irony, it’s sharp and strangely sweet When the end is served on crackers, you accept your defeat [Guitar Solo] [A wailing, squealing solo erupts like a b*****g fondue fork, pinched harmonics shrieking over a doom-laden groove. The drums pound like a giant’s heartbeat, then break into a chaotic blast b**t.] [Outro] [The riff collapses into a puddle of feedback. A final, satisfied growl echoes, then the sound of a refrigerator door slowly closing. A faint, cheesy giggle fades to silence.]