Frosty Fecal Fiasco

[Intro] (Record scratch) Yeah... uh... check it. You ain't gonna believe this one. (Deep sigh) Alright, here we go... [Verse 1] Woke up this mornin', felt a rumble down low Took a big ol' dump, watch it plop in the bowl But this dude had a plan, somethin' truly insane Grabbed his fresh creation, ignored the whole "disgusting" refrain Wrapped it up tight, plastic cling is the key Stuck it in the freezer, yeah, for all the world to see (Well, hopefully not) Waitin' for it harden, turnin' brown into ice Thinkin' this cold turd gon' be extra nice... for what? Man, think twice! [Chorus] He froze his own shit! (Yeah!) Made a poop-sicle! (What?!) Then he bent right over, shoved it up his rear! (Oh god!) Frozen turd up the butt, ain't nothin' clear? He froze his own shit! (Why?!) Made a poop-sicle! (No!) Then he bent right over, shoved it up his rear! This story's whack, fillin' everyone with fear! (Disgust!) [Verse 2] Hours later, freezer open wide Pulled out his brown treasure, frosty on the side Peeled off the plastic, holdin' nature's ice cube Stiff and cold and nasty, somethin' truly rude Got down on his knees, positioned for the deed Took that frozen log, fulfilled his twisted need Shoved that icy turd right where the sun don't shine Said it felt "refreshing," lost his damn mind! A frozen fecal fiasco, absolutely vile Wiped the frost away with a creepy little smile. [Chorus] He froze his own shit! (Yeah!) Made a poop-sicle! (What?!) Then he bent right over, shoved it up his rear! (Oh god!) Frozen turd up the butt, ain't nothin' clear? He froze his own shit! (Why?!) Made a poop-sicle! (No!) Then he bent right over, shoved it up his rear! This story's whack, fillin' everyone with fear! (Disgust!) [Bridge] (Spoken, slightly incredulous) Yo, man... seriously? Freezin' your business? Then... usin' it? Like a... a popsicle from hell? That ain't kink, that's just... unsanitary! And cold! And wrong on every single level! What possible thought process...? Nah, man. Just... nah. [Chorus] He froze his own shit! (Yeah!) Made a poop-sicle! (What?!) Then he bent right over, shoved it up his rear! (Oh god!) Frozen turd up the butt, ain't nothin' clear? He froze his own shit! (Why?!) Made a poop-sicle! (No!) Then he bent right over, shoved it up his rear! This story's whack, fillin' everyone with fear! (Disgust!) [Outro] (Sound of a toilet flushing, then a distant, disgusted groan fading out) Ugh... man... I need a shower just thinkin' about it... (Sound fades completely)