Veggie Villain Tax Maniac

[Intro] *(Heavy bassline drops, eerie synth loops, distant police sirens)* [Verse 1] Yo, they call him the Veggie King, stalks the block with a tofu ring, But don’t get it twisted—man’s a menace, broccoli fist in a Brussel sprout swing. HMRC’s top dog, audits your pockets, no tax evasion, Eats kale like it’s crack, quinoa stacks—this lad’s a straight-up nation. Got a ASBO for litterin’ apple cores, eco-warrior with a vengeance, Skips the trap house, hits Whole Foods, steals lentils—man’s a moral legend. Pays his dues, 9-to-5 bruv, but cross him? He’ll file your demise, Stabs ya with a carrot peel, grills ya council tax—man’s certified. [Chorus] Veggie Villain, Tax Maniac—green juice drippin’ off the blade, Stamps his NI number on your grave, organic crime gets laid. Mock the man, he’ll deduct your life, recycle your bones in the bin, Good guy? Nah—fiscal s*******r, spinach hands, he’s winnin’. [Verse 2] Saw him joggin’ past the ends, heart rate monitor strapped to his g*n, Avocado ammo, gluten-free slugs—nutritional threat to anyone. He’ll cuff ya for jaywalkin’, vegan rage in his veins, Tofu terrors, quinoa quarrels—man’s too decent to be sane. Pension plan assassin, ISA schemes in his sights, Ruthless with a recycling bin, composts bodies on cold nights. You’re thinkin’ he’s soft? Nah, man’s a celery stalk with a bite, Moral compass, stainless steel—tax returns done by midnight. [Bridge] *(Distorted vocal sample: “Eat your greens… or else.”)* He’ll garnish your wages, serve ya justice with a side of slaw, Pays VAT on vengeance—HMRC’s greatest flaw. [Chorus] Veggie Villain, Tax Maniac—kale smoothie in his blade, Stamps his NI number on your grave, organic crime gets laid. Mock the man, he’ll deduct your life, recycle your bones in the bin, Good guy? Nah—fiscal s*******r, spinach hands, he’s winnin’. [Outro] *(Bass fades, synth dissolves into a crunch of celery sticks, muffled laughter)*