[Intro]
[Verse 1]
There’s a guy named Hamsterman,
Runs a shop with a shady plan.
Says he's got the rarest deals,
But all you get are broken wheels.
He’s got signs up, "LIMITED TIME!"
But that same sale’s been there since '09.
No refunds, no returns,
Just life lessons you gotta learn.
[Chorus]
Hamsterman — he never restocks,
Takes your cash, then changes the locks.
Selling dreams in a cardboard box,
Slicker than a fox in knockoff Crocs.
[Verse 2]
He’ll flash a smile, say “Just in stock!”
But the shelves are empty, the doors all locked.
Promises gold, gives glitter and sand,
The king of scams with a hamster brand.
You ask, “Hey, where’s the merch I bought?”
He shrugs and says, “Oh, I just forgot.”
Next day? New name, new face,
Same old con, same rat race.
[Chorus]
Hamsterman — he never restocks,
Just smoke, mirrors, and paradox.
Sells fake fame and plastic rocks,
Counting coins while the whole town talks.
[Bridge]
You’d think we’d learn, but we still try,
‘Cause he’s got charm in that shifty eye.
Hamsterman — we love to hate,
But still we line up at his gate.
[Outro]
So if you see him, just beware,
He’ll sell you wind and charge for air.
Hamsterman — the legend scans,
Never restocks, but always plans.
