wrightsgaming[Intro]
[Verse 1]
Ho ho ho, but Santa’s moving slow,
Cookie crumbs on his coat, and a belly that won’t grow? No!
Elves are whispering, “Boss, you’re stuck in the flue!”
Rudolph snorted, “Maybe skip the milk—it’s true!”
[Chorus]
Lose some weight, Santa, you fat f**k, the reindeer ain’t polite,
They’re cracking fat jokes on the sleigh tonight!
Swap the cookies for kale, yeah, that’s the f***t,
Or the North Pole’s gonna roast you fat f**k
[Verse 2]
Mrs. Claus hid the pie, gave him celery sticks,
Santa pouted, “Where’s the gravy? This is just a fix!”
Kids wrote letters, “Hey, you’re blocking the moon!”
Now he’s jogging ‘round igloos, howling out of tune!
[Bridge]
The gym’s full of snowmen, pumping iron and flexin’,
Santa’s sweating candy canes—midlife crisis question:
“Why’d I eat eight turkeys?!” (The answer’s Christmas pressure!)
Now he’s trading his red suit for yoga pants and leisure.
[Chorus]
Lose some weight, Santa, you fat f**k, the world’s a little mean,
Your belt’s crying “mercy!” like a tinsel-covered bean!
But if you slim down, buddy, you’ll still be the meme queen—
Just don’t blame us when the elves start selling diet cream!
[Outro]
