THE CHAOTIC IRISH LEGEND OF THE OFFICE

[Verse 1] There’s a man in the office who arrives like a storm, Making complicated things sound simple is his norm. Talks loud enough for everyone to know he’s there, Solves a crisis in seconds — with sarcasm to spare. He’s obsessed with a process, he thrives on a rota, If the dishwasher’s wrong, oh he’ll rewrite the quota. He’s in the kitchen every time you appear, Slurping tea loudly while saying, “Use your cutlery quieter, dear…” [Pre-Chorus] Moves at 100mph even when sitting still, At any free lunch? He’s already halfway through the meal. Doughnuts vanish instantly, snacks don’t survive — Yet somehow he looks like he’s never eaten carbs in his life. [Chorus] Ohhhh the Chaotic Irish Legend of the office floor, Loud, jolly, everywhere — and always hungry for more. From processes, meetings, and rotas that sing, To running at dawn just to mention the run, He’s the king of the office… the whirlwind one. Yeah, life feels funnier whenever he’s doing his thing — Here’s to the Chaotic Irish Legend — long may he reign as king. [Verse 2] He joins the girl chat saying, “I won’t get involved,” Then inserts himself fully with mysteries unsolved. Getting changed in the back room with no curtain drawn, Bare feet on display like it’s totally normal at dawn. He’ll eat mince pies if they haven’t moved in a bit, Steal chocolates from M&S with a cheeky little grin. He’s the matchmaker too — Cupid in disguise, Brought two people together with zero surprise. [Pre-Chorus] He cooks pizza pinwheels, he dazzles Taste Test Tuesdays, Reminds you he’s Irish in about twelve different ways. Ask if he’s from Dublin once — he’ll never forget, You’ll hear about it daily, with dramatic regret. [Chorus] Ohhhh the Chaotic Irish Legend of the office floor, Loud, jolly, everywhere — and always hungry for more. Ghost of Christmas Present — the energy, the cheer, He’s the heartbeat of chaos we embrace every year. From eating half of Lidl to running like spring, He’s the king of the office… the whirlwind king. Yeah, work feels lighter whenever he’s doing his thing — Here’s to the Chaotic Irish Legend — forever our king. [Bridge – comic & warm] He pretends he’s not nice — “I don’t remember that,” But he’s soft as a marshmallow under all the chat. A chaotic Irish comedy with a heart underneath, Just don’t mention carbs… or mince pies… or teeth. [Final Chorus] Ohhhh the Chaotic Irish Legend — Raise your glass, raise your voice, raise the energy again. Processes, humour, and a tea-slurp ring — And telling us to “QUIETLY use your cutlery” — king. Yeah, the office is brighter whenever he walks in — Long live the chaos… Long live the grin… Long live the Chaotic Irish Legend within.