All I Really Want For Christmas

[Intro] [Verse 1] Well, the snow is fallin' on the rooftop And the turkey's been carved and ate But there's a storm brewin' inside this house, folks And I think it's just too late I wrote my letter to ol' Saint Nick And I sealed it up with care Just one simple little request, sir For a family like the one over there! [Chorus] 'Cause all I want for Christmas, is a brand new family! Traded in for one that's not insane! That doesn't binge watch that TV A son who knows what "outside" is! A daughter dresses more than lace! Yeah, all I want for Christmas Is to swap out this whole place! [Verse 2] Now my lovely wife, my darlin' Sheila, She's a permanent couch design With a bowl of bon-bons in her lap And a box of cheap red wine She's cryin' over "The Sands of Sorrow" While the laundry forms a pile She just yelled, "See you tomorrow!" Yet I haven't been around in a while! And my boy, my genius offspring He's a legend in his own console His only friends are on X Box And a warlock with a troll He says, "Just one more game, I promise!" As he battles through the night I asked him for a hug last Tuesday He said, "Dad, you're in my line of sight!" [Chorus] Oh, all I want for Christmas, is a brand new family! One right off that TV screen! Not a Beverly Hillbilly! A daughter who dresses at her best! And a Son who can play football! Yeah, Santa, check your good boy list, I want a brand new family, that's all! [Saxophone solo] [Verse 3] Then there's my pride and joy, my Jenny She's a fashion trend all her own In an outfit fit for summer When there's a foot of snow on the lawn I say, "Wear a coat! It's freezing!" She just rolls her eyes at me Says, "Dad, you're so embarrassing!" Yet her boyfriend dresses like she! [Pre-Bridge] So I sat down by the fire, feelin' a little blue Watchin' the sparks fly off the logs and up on through the flue Just dreamin' of some peace on earth And a brighter whole new view... Yeah, All I want for Christmas, for a family that's all brand new. [Piano Solo] [Bridge] Then I heard my boy laugh, truly laugh At some victory he'd just won And my wife brought me a cookie, sayin' "Darlin', your show's about to come on." And my daughter, shiverin' from the cold Came and stole my old warm robe And curled up right here beside me On this lumpy, crowded road... [Chorus] Now I don't want a new family... No, I guess that was a lie... They might be a little broken But they're the apple of my eye... My wife's couch-cushion kingdom Is a place I love to land... My son's a digital hero... And I finally shook that boyfriend's hand... [Outros] So forget the letter, Santa! Tear it up and let it fly! This chaotic, crazy circus Is my perfect lullaby! The soap operas and the headshots And the bon-bon sugar highs! Yeah, they're my Christmas chaos... And the love I realize! They're my Christmas chaos! The sparkle in my eyes!