this heart has been broken many times,I've told myself all the

this heart has been broken many times, I've told myself all the lies, love seems easy, but it's not even close, this heart has chosen to go through it, so, i keep looking up to the people who have found it, my wanted future of it. seems so simple, I've heard, It never really is, or so I've learned, This heart races, and I know it will never last, people say "Forever", then it gets lost, Pain and crying, many have lied, some have the truth, but is it really? it's like he's the one for me, I want a family and a good life for me, It's always like it'll never be, I should give up, But I can not, i feel weighted, everything has got me down, i feel troubled. seems simple, so i've heard, It never really is, so I've learned, this heart races, and i know it'll never last, people say "forever", then it gets lost, pain and crying, many have lied, some have the truth, but is it really? breathing and sleeping have been getting worse, although I've done all I can, I have chosen my course, ruing lives, or so you've told me, this is what i do, that feels impossible, but apparently I do, still fake laughs and fake smiles are all I know, should I just be alone, to what I think I know? can I go back to when everything was easy, back when I could breathe easy, smile a real smile, be happy more of the time, all of this fake feels like a crime. seems simple, I've heard, It never really is, or so I've learned, this heart races, and I know it'll never last, people say "forever", then it gets lost, pain and crying, many have lied, some have the truth, but is it really? when did I cause all this damage? how do people manage? this is in heart in pieces I can't fix, too soon, too bad.