Penguin King's Ballad

I've sailed the Sword Coast, and I've seen some strange sights, Like a d**d beholder's eye twitching in the moonlight. I've crossed the Underdark, where the shadows grow deep, And I've had a few too many potions that put my soul to sleep. But I always get myself up, brush the dust off my robes, I just whistle a little tune, and I’ll share just how it goes. I've been a failure, a fool, a fright, and a finder of fine bling, I went from a penguin, a pet, a pawn, and a pirate, to a king, That's life, That's just the way it is, there's no reason for some things. One minute you're riding high, from a battle that day, Then life can suck you down, into a swamp outside of town. You pick yourself up, and you get back in the fray! That's life, there’s no doubt about it, I've sure had plenty of things, That's what all the bards say, just don’t pout about it... Be calm and carry-on to see a brighter day. I couldn’t live and die within a nice, simple life, No golems or curses, no swords and strife. Soft, what light through yonder window breaks, Early morning, and my body aches; so I wakes and bakes. I know that I'd be bored, after the very first dawn, 'Cause I'm a natural born adventurer, Baby, I've gotta keep movin' on. I've been a failure, a fool, a fright, and a finder of fine bling, I went from a penguin, a pet, a pawn, and a pirate, to a king, That's life, That's just the way it is, there's no reason for some things. One minute you're running while high in hell, A really bad dragon f***t early that day... So you pick yourself up... and you get back in the fray! That's life, there’s no doubt about it, I've sure had plenty of things, That's what all the bards say, just don’t pout about it... Be calm and carry-on to see a brighter day. This ain't the worst I've ever faced, Pick up your shield, Find that courage you've misplaced, there's others to be healed. There is no magic spell, just years of wisdom that I impart. You need to follow through on all the things you do, To yourself be true, It's a grind, but if you toe the line, you're going to be just fine. I believe in you, so do what's right, don't give up the f***t, You Be the shining light for the bleeding few. That's life, the way it should be, let your light be true!