Kream[Intro]
(Instrumental mimics "Magic" with a quirky synth twist)
[Verse 1]
Hey, I’m here to blow your mind like a dusty old PC,
Got a USB wand and a keyboard full of spells, see?
I’ll make your Wi-Fi vanish, then bring it back at 3G,
But my router’s stuck buffering—uh-oh, tech tragedy!
[Chorus]
'Cause this ain’t magic, no, it’s just a glitch parade,
My code’s a mess, and my RAM’s beginnin’ to fade!
I tried to hack the cloud, but it started to rain,
Now my laptop’s a toaster—man, this is insane!
[Verse 2]
I pulled a rabbit from my hat, but it’s just a PDF,
My “abracadabra” froze up Windows 93!
I’ll levitate your smartphone with a rubber-band sling,
But Siri just laughed and said, “You can’t do a thing!”
[Chorus]
This ain’t magic, nah, it’s a Wi-Fi drought,
My 5G’s a dial-up—yeah, I figured it out!
I hexed my charger, now it’s sparkin’ like Zeus,
My whole room’s a blackout—dude, I need a new fuse!
[Bridge]
(Spoken over kazoo solo)
Step right up, I’ll fix your RAM with a paperclip and glue,
But my antivirus just quit, and the firewall’s blue!
If your hard drive’s cursed, just reboot it twice,
Or throw it out the window—hey, that’s my advice!
[Outro]
(Fade-out with distorted modem sounds and a kazoo hum)