[Intro]
[Verse 1]
Bruno fell asleep in the kiddie pool
Woke up drinkin’ sweet tea with a garden tool
Jacob got stuck in a Chick-fil-A booth
Took three waiters and a winch to get him loose
[Chorus]
Too fat for the flatbed, broke that hitch
Bruno sat down, and the axle done quit
Jacob so wide, got his own zip code
Tires screamin' loud like a possum in the road
[Verse 2]
Bruno breathin’ heavy just textin’ a friend
Jacob cracked the floor when he tried to bend
Tried to ride a horse, horse filed a claim
Even Golden Corral put up a restrainin’ name
[Bridge]
Big boys need love, they just need strong chairs
And a reinforced porch with emergency stairs
No shame in the game when the snacks unfold
They keep Hot Pockets warm... just tucked in they folds
[Final Chorus]
Too fat for the flatbed, truth be told
They eatin’ corn dogs wrapped in pizza rolls
They too wide for the camo recliner
Even their dreams got a weight limit timer
[Outro]