Hunty

There’s a bloke named Hunty, lives out back, Drives a Pajero, rusted track. He’s stinkier than a septic tank, Brushes his teeth once a year — and that's being frank. Said his dad was Doug but that’s a lie, Ralph knocked up his mum on the Fourth of July. Ate a soggy biscuit... solo, no joke, Now the whole pub calls him “the bloke that broke.” Come social bruz, he slurs and spits, With BO clouds and durry hits. He’s keybanging vids on his BNS, In the bog with no pants — mate, what a mess. Rust on the chassis, dreams full of crust, Virgin for life and forever sus. Summer spraying instead of Yule, Knows everyone, but no one thinks he’s cool. He smoked some tea behind the shed, Passed out cold — thought he was d**d. Had six beers, half a durry too, Then crop dusted Lilly like a broke B&S dude. Talks mad yarns Eliza won’t claim, His sister’s been 'round — but he’s the shame. Danced with Kate and cleared the room, Even Vicki gagged from his BO fumes. “Come social bruz,” he yells again, While licking his screen in the bathroom den. Used all his data on keyboard slams, Got no money — just fake Instagram. He won’t shut up about farming dirt, Never been paid, but owns one shirt. Got suspended takin' sneaky shots, Wants to eat samwich out” — but mate, you’re not hot. Come social bruz, he slurs and spits, With BO clouds and durry hits. He’s keybanging vids on his BNS, In the bog with no pants — mate, what a mess. Rust on the chassis, dreams full of crust, Virgin for life and forever sus. Summer spraying instead of Yule, Knows everyone, but no one thinks he’s cool. So here’s to Hunty, king of the pong, Feral cat lover, everything wrong. Doug’s the dad, but Ralph’s the seed, Now Hunty’s the bloke no one needs. Got b**t by his brother, won’t show his face, Avoids church with Gran — what a disgrace. Smells like regret, and failure stew, If you see Hunty comin'... run. Wouldn’t you? Ralph has intercourse with Eliza’s tight Minge Hunty fucks his feral cats Vicki had a prolapse Cause Ralph knocked her up real hard Hunty is a stinky indian