My Dog the Trader

[Intro] (Instrumental intro featuring acoustic guitar and light banjo) [Verse 1] Well I sit here watchin' the ticker tape crawl Tryin' to make sense of it, riskin' it all I bought high and sold low, a familiar refrain While my profits keep slippin' away down the drain But curled up beside me, on his favorite rug Lies a trader so savvy, my old yellow mutt [Chorus] Oh, my dog is probably a better trader than me He sniffs out the trends like a bone 'neath a tree He barks at the bull runs, he whines at the dips While I'm losin' my shirt, he just licks his own lips Yeah, my dog is probably a better trader than me Got instincts for profit, plain as can be [Verse 2] He naps through the crashes, sleeps sound and deep While I'm glued to the screen, losin' precious sleep He wags at the green days, gives a low, warning growl When the red starts to flash, makes me jump with a scowl He don't need no computer, no fancy degree Just a nose for the winners, wild and free [Chorus] Oh, my dog is probably a better trader than me He sniffs out the trends like a bone 'neath a tree He barks at the bull runs, he whines at the dips While I'm losin' my shirt, he just licks his own lips Yeah, my dog is probably a better trader than me Got instincts for profit, plain as can be [Bridge] He trades in belly rubs and leftover steak His portfolio's simple, no big mistakes While I chase the hot tips, the rumors, the hype He just follows his nose and gets the price right Oh, the wisdom of canines, so pure and so true If I followed his lead, what a trader I'd be too! [Chorus] Oh, my dog is probably a better trader than me He sniffs out the trends like a bone 'neath a tree He barks at the bull runs, he whines at the dips While I'm losin' my shirt, he just licks his own lips Yeah, my dog is probably a better trader than me Got instincts for profit, plain as can be [Outro] (Instrumental outro featuring fiddle and banjo, fading out)