*Saturday Night's F***t

[Intro] (Upright piano riff, brushed snare, and bass groove set the scene. A twangy guitar lick fades in.) [Verse 1] Betty Lou’s in sequins, Bobby’s in his boots, The floor’s a battlefield in three-chord suits. She twirls like a tornado, he’s two-left-shoe, A honky-tonk tango—someone’s cryin’ the blues. [Chorus] (Backing vocals: “Step right, step wrong!”) Saturday night’s a f***t, spin the bottle of pride, (Backing vocals: “Whiskey tears, side-eye fears!”) One slapback laugh, and the whole room collides— It’s a jukebox jury, and love’s on trial tonight. [Verse 2] The piano man’s grinnin’, plays a stumblin’ line, While the bass walks steady through the grapevine. A wink at the bartender, a shot glass plea, But the last dance trophy’s got two losers, you see. [Chorus] (Backing vocals: “Step right, step wrong!”) Saturday night’s a f***t, spin the bottle of pride, (Backing vocals: “Whiskey tears, side-eye fears!”) One slapback laugh, and the whole room collides— It’s a jukebox jury, and love’s on trial tonight. [Bridge] (Saxophone wails, piano hammers a riff. The crowd whoops as the drums k**k high.) The neon’s the judge, the floor’s the decree, Ain’t no mercy in the key of A, honey—just glee. [Chorus] (Backing vocals: “Step right, step wrong!”) Saturday night’s a f***t, spin the bottle of pride, (Backing vocals: “Whiskey tears, side-eye fears!”) One slapback laugh, and the whole room collides— It’s a jukebox jury, and love’s on trial tonight. [Outro] (The bass walks off, piano tinkles a farewell. A tambourine shivers as the lights dim.)