So far gone

Used to ask for fronts now I’m sitting in front They acting like they love me but soon as I lose it all I know they all gone hate me Karter gives me motivation to make it out the streets Knowing damn well he not my son but he my son Due to past situations I had to be the one Ken situation doesn’t make it any better But if she wasn’t here who knows if I would be too Knowing damn well she not my daughter but she my daughter Once I made all my problems just got worst Once I made it all my flaws just got exposed Once I made it I just didn’t want this life anymore Tryna stop my momma from crying Tryna stop all the pain my brothers feel Tryna give everyone I love a better life Hate getting in my moods of depression Hate feeling like this cuz I can’t show no compassion Feeling like this pain is compassion Feeling like my love has no passion Can’t even explain why I feel like this or what the f**k happened Gotta isolate myself I don’t want you to see me in this mode Everyone that dose always runs away and fold Knowing my heart is pure and gold My actions make it hurt and cold Never thought my life would be like this I’m living in it and there ain’t no way out of it Drugs was my only answer after what I had that I love left me completely Everything I had that I could hold on to post it’s grip and I slipped into a dark place I see the light but right now it’s just darkness everywhere I look Really has me shook Really got me thinking how I need to take a good look on my life and how I need to make it right Getting in my feelings rejecting love and support Feeling like I’m disrespecting my mom make me even more mad Even more sad Knowing everything would be better if I still had my dad RIP I think about you daily And it drive me crazy Intoxicated lately I need to get intoxicated baby That’s the only time I feel feelings now