Oy Vey Move Out the Way

[Intro] *(Klezmer clarinet riff mixed with hip-hop beats, followed by a gravelly voice chuckling)* [Verse 1] Yo, it’s the Talmudic hustler, sidesteppin’ the fray, Schleppin’ latkes, but the schmear’s in my way, Got a minyan at noon, but this schmuck’s blockin’ the door, Mishpocha drama—why you gotta make it a w*r? I’m double-parked by the synagogue, Torah in my ride, Bubbe’s cholent’s burnin’—man, I’m losin’ my pride! You think this shtick’s a joke? Wait for the punchline, A schnorrer’s in the fast lane—time to rewind! [Chorus] Oi vei, move out the way! Oi goi, move out the way! You’re slower than a gefilte fish on Shabbos day! Oi vei, step to the side! Oi goi, step to the side! Or I’ll schlep you to the desert—Pharaoh-style ride! [Verse 2] Matzah crumbs in my beard, but my aim’s still precise, Trying to dodge the rabbi’s side-eye, pay the price, You’re a gonif in my path, mazel tov—now scram! I’ve got eight days of oil, but zero patience, man. The deli line’s backed up, pastrami’s gettin’ cold, You’re hockin’ my chain like it’s solid gold? Bold. I’ll drop a plague or two—lice, frogs, whatever it takes, This Exodus remix—shake the dust off the stakes! [Bridge] *(Dark whisper over a sudden violin screech)* You think this is Egypt? Nah, it’s Crown Heights at noon, Schleppers, schlemiels, and a looming typhoon, The Rebbe’s watchin’, so you better act right, Or I’ll turn your Mercedes into a midrash overnight… [Chorus] Oi vei, move out the way! Oi goi, move out the way! You’re cloggin’ up the mikveh like a dybbuk buffet! Oi vei, step to the side! Oi goi, step to the side! Before I call Elijah—dude’s got *no* chill tonight! [Outro] *(Klezmer clarinet fades into eerie silence, followed by a single cymbal c***h and a muttered “Sha, still…”)*