Tentacles and Trouble

Off the coast where the lighthouse leans, Three days north where the gull still screams, Came writhing doom from the ocean deep— With suckers wide and eyes that creep! Tentacles slap and the boat goes rock, Grab the oar or you'll feed the flock! Steel and spell and bardic spite— We’ll cook this squid by end of night! Valhiri struck with fire and spray, Then snapped into scales—crocodile prey! Bronn let fly with a poisoned dart, And froze those limbs with a rogue’s swift art. Leopold called Mr. Peabody near, Who healed a sailor through brine and fear. Butler charged with a roaring clank, And crossbow-fired till the sea beast sank. I lit one up with b*****g steel, While Leo’s cold touch sealed the deal. Bronn struck last with venom keen— Three beasts down, and the shoreline clean! Tentacles slap and the boat goes rock, Mind the ink and block the shock! We’re the Profiteers, bold and bright— And calamari’s back on tonight!