Dylan Is Queer"
Genre: Funny Punk Rock
Tempo: Fast and rowdy
[Verse 1]
Dylan showed up at the dive bar at eight
Wearing glitter boots and a studded dog crate
Told the DJ, “Play some Britney or I’ll r**t”
Then moshed to Slayer just to keep things quiet
[Pre-Chorus]
Mom said, “That’s a phase,” — yeah, ten years straight
Dad just shrugs while Dylan paints the license plate
[Chorus]
DYLAN IS QUEER! (And totally rad!)
Steals your boyfriend, then makes out with your dad
DYLAN IS QUEER! (With eyeliner rage!)
Got rainbow brass knuckles and breaks out the cage
[Verse 2]
Got a tattoo that says “gender’s a joke”
Flips the bird while sippin’ matcha and coke
Leads the pride parade with a battle cry
Spray paints “LOVE SUCKS” on a corporate tie
[Pre-Chorus]
Never asked for your opinion, Steve
Just tosses glitter, then takes their leave
[Chorus]
DYLAN IS QUEER! (And cooler than you)
Drives a pink hearse with a skeleton crew
DYLAN IS QUEER! (And they don’t care)
Blew up the binary with purple hair
[Bridge – Screamed Punk Style]
No shame!
No rules!
No cishet-fueled schools!
Just a queer punk rebel
Flipping all your old tools!
[Final Chorus]
DYLAN IS QUEER! (And punk as hell)
Wrote this song just to raise some yell
DYLAN IS QUEER! (Go cry, Chad)
Not a phase — just a fabulous fad
[Outro – Spoken]
“And if you’ve got a problem with that… Dylan says, ‘get in line.’”