Here Comes The Bride Again

[Intro] [Verse 1] Well, I’ve tied more knots than a sailor in heat, Watched lovebirds coo and skip down the street. I’ve cried happy tears with a waterproof lash, And caught more bouquets than a Vegas c***h. (spoken aside) "Always the catcher, never the bride. Story of my Spanx-clad life." They kiss, they swoon, they ride into bliss, While I head home to a take-out dish. I sing of love with a rhinestone grin... But my glitter’s wearing thin. [Verse 2] I’ve married straights and gays and throuples galore, Gave speeches so moving, folks wept on the floor. But lately the sparkle is feeling contrived, Like I’m officiating everyone’s dream but mine. (spoken aside) "You ever toast a couple while mentally Googling, ‘How to hex an ex?’ Just me?" Champagne toasts, they clink and cheer, Meanwhile I age like fine... store-brand beer. Is it love I’m sellin’ or just a show? Honestly, I don’t even know. [Verse 3] They pledge forever with trembling hands, While I stand solo in sequined spandex pants. They promise always, they whisper true... But who’s gonna whisper back to you? (spoken) "I mean, Alexa doesn’t count. And she’s so judgmental." I’ve seen ‘em c***h, I’ve seen ‘em cheat, Still, I glue on my lashes and flash my feet. Love’s a number — I’ve lost the count, But where’s my damn discount amount?! [Verse 4] So here I am, your Queen of “I Do,” But who’s gonna say those words to me, too? I joke, I jive, I vamp, I play... But my heart’s on clearance every wedding day. (spoken, softer) "Maybe I’m not bitter. Just... pickled in other people’s happy endings." Still, tomorrow’s cake might taste brand new, And hope’s a color in my glitter glue. So bring on the veil, the kiss, the flair... I’ll fake it fierce ‘til love is there. (spoken with a wink) "And if not? I still look damn good in a cathedral train." ♪ Here comes the briiiiide... again! ♪ [Outro]