(Record scratch) Yo, check the mic, one two. This ain't no bedtime story, this is straight truth. My fingers twitchin', my brain is fried, 'cause my digital life just went for a ride. Taken h*****e, snatched away, by the one person who's supposed to save the day!
(Verse 1)
Yo, listen up, I'm talkin' 'bout my MUM!
The arch-nemesis, the digital thug.
She swooped in silent, a ninja in disguise,
My laptop gone, tears wellin' in my eyes.
Said I was online too much, livin' in a screen,
But she don't understand the digital scene.
I got deadlines, projects, and connections to make,
Now my whole world's on pause, for goodness sake!
She thinks a book and sunshine will solve my woes,
But I need CPU, RAM, and a healthy internet dose!
(Chorus)
Yo, this ain't right, this ain't fair,
My laptop's gone, I'm filled with despair.
Mum on a power trip, thinkin' she's the queen,
But she just interrupted my coding routine!
Gimme back my laptop, set my spirit free,
Before I drop the diss track heard 'cross the sea!
(Verse 2)
She claims it's for my own good, a lesson to learn,
But all I'm learnin' is her motives burn.
She's probably checkin' my history right now,
Judgin' my browser tabs, wrinklin' her brow.
Thinkin' she's uncoverin' some deep dark secret,
When really I'm just watchin' cat videos, let's be discreet!
She talks 'bout moderation, a balanced lifestyle,
While scrollin' through Facebook for a gossip profile.
The hypocrisy's thick, you could cut it with a k***e,
Give me back my machine, and give me back my life!
(Chorus)
Yo, this ain't right, this ain't fair,
My laptop's gone, I'm filled with despair.
Mum on a power trip, thinkin' she's the queen,
But she just interrupted my coding routine!
Gimme back my laptop, set my spirit free,
Before I drop the diss track heard 'cross the sea!
(Bridge)
Maybe I overdid it, a little too much playtime,
But a blanket ban? That's a digital crime!
Negotiation is key, communication is the way,
Not this iron fist, dictatin' my every day!
(Verse 3)
I'm envisionin' my laptop collecting dust,
Replaced by board games, covered in rust.
She's probably listenin' to Enya, feelin' all zen,
Oblivious to the chaos she's created within!
I'm gonna stage a protest, a digital sit-in,
Until my demands are met, and my freedom is winnin'!
I'll print out memes, and hold them in the street,
"Return my laptop, or face defeat!"
(Chorus)
Yo, this ain't right, this ain't fair,
My laptop's gone, I'm filled with despair.
Mum on a power trip, thinkin' she's the queen,
But she just interrupted my coding routine!
Gimme back my laptop, set my spirit free,
Before I drop the diss track heard 'cross the sea!
(Outro)
Word. Laptop. Gimme it back. Mum. Respect.
Understand the struggle. Don't disconnect.
Mic drop. (Sound of a laptop case slamming shut)
I'm out. ...For now.