The Tinder Tapes Vol 1

[Verse 1] Swipe left, swipe right, rewind, now play, The pool is a puddle and the men go “slay.” Six foot, six pack, six-figure goal, Triple-six dating: welcome to hellhole. Boxing bell rings? Please, that’s just chat, Featherweight feels with a mouth like a brat. Skipped leg day and therapy too, All biceps, no bandwidth, what a breakthrough. [Pre-Chorus] You ghosted me twice, now you’re crawling back? Didn’t know “sorry” came with a panic attack. Said I was “the one,” couldn’t show up by text, Gave future fakes, now you’re just my ex. [Chorus] Call me now? Sorry, wrong dimension. I blocked your number and your intention. Wedding ring? That coal won’t shine, You can’t spell “us” without “undermined.” [Verse 2] Trophy wife? I’m Olympic-grade bold, You’re a tantrum in sneakers, a story half-told. Tried to go for gold? Didn’t even place, Drowned in your filter, blurred out your face. [Pre-Chorus] Submission? Cute. But I quit the show, Tired of clowns mistaking “yes” for “go.” “High-value man”? Oh babe, it’s bleak, Markdown bin, expired next week. [Chorus] Call me now? Sorry, wrong dimension. This hotline’s closed for ego prevention. Wedding ring? Nah, just a smoke ring dream, Sold me forever, then vanished mid-scene. [Bridge] Fragile male ego, vacuum sealed tight, Still can't lift a convo but flex at midnight. Held up the mirror, you hated the view, I changed the locks and the storyline too. [Verse 3] I gave you the manual, you used it for kindling, Set fire to grace, now it’s me that’s winning. Tantrums vs tactics? I play long games, You chase applause, I rewrite names. [Outro] Swipe with caution, sparks ignite, Lovebomb Shellshock: your dating birthright. Burned the rulebook, rewrote the play, And babe, I never swipe halfway.