Sara’s so big, when she steps on the scale,
It says “To be continued…” — don’t fail!
She ain’t got rolls, she got whole bakery aisles,
If she’s late for dinner, the fridge throws a trial.
She tried to skinny dip, but the pool went dry,
When she jumps on the bed, the springs say goodbye.
Her shadow weighs more than a Texas steer,
She needs a GPS just to find her rear.
When Sara’s in the truck, the tires go flat,
Even the tailgate says “Not today, that’s that.”
She don’t need a belt, she uses rope,
And when she runs, the ground calls “Nope!”
Sara eats so much, the buffet runs scared,
When she orders dessert, the chef just stared.
She’s got more chins than a phone book’s got names,
And every time she sits, she breaks more frames.
Her belly’s so big, it’s a weather zone,
When she farts, the storm’s full-blown.
She ain’t fat, she’s “undeniably large,”
Like a wrecking ball, she’s in charge.
Sara’s so round, she rolls to the store,
And the checkout line just groans “No more.”
She ain’t got curves, she got whole mountains,
And when she dances, she causes fountains.
If Sara’s near, better clear the way,
Cause she’s big ol’ trouble every day.
She’s a one-woman wrecking crew,
And these fat jokes? They just keep coming through.
Her shadow blocks the county sun,
When she steps outside, the day is done.
She don’t jog, she takes a stroll,
But the sidewalks crack from her big ol’ roll.
She tried to fly a kite, but the wind got stuck,
When she opened her mouth, the wind ran amok.
Her jeans scream mercy, her boots complain,
If clothes were made for Sara, they’d break the chain.
She’s got a PhD in snackology,
Graduated top of the pie-ology.
When she goes fishing, the fish jump ashore,
Even the worms say, “No bait no more!”
Her hugs shake the ground like an earthquake,
When she shakes hands, the tables break.
She’s the heavyweight champ of the local fair,
And when she dances, folks stop and stare.
Sara’s so wide, she can’t fit in a lane,
Her rearview mirror needs its own plane.
When she takes a selfie, she needs a drone,
And the photo app just freezes her phone.
She’s the reason the BBQ needs a bigger grill,
When she shows up, the buffet stands still.
Sara’s big ol’ story’s never done,
And these fat jokes? They’re just for fun.