When I go to the supermarket all I want is bacon and eggs
But all she buys is salad and boring shit like fruit and veg
I hate all her friends cause they drink vegan coffee made from mushrooms
But they're all fuckin hypocrites cause they're all wearing leather shoes
She goes to the toilet and it always smells like someone has died
Cause all she eats is aubergines she needs something with meat inside
Since we been dating I no longer get invited to friends barbeques
Cause they won't cook that green shit or other types of plant based foods
Cause of you I just poo I'm a shell of a man
So in your sandwich I just had to hide some processed ham
I'm not a vegan
I'm not a vegetarian
I'm not a fuckin vegan
Not a fuckin vegetarian
I'm not a vegan
I'm not a vegetarian
Iv seen more meat on a pack of cheap a*s frozen ribs
Always fuckin tired cause you're lacking basic vitamins
No one comes for dinner noone likes the lectures or the attitude
I've lost all my friends cause your judgemental around their food (it's rude)
Don't get me wrong you know I love animals too
But don't pull that face when I order 10oz rib eye blue
I'm not a vegan
I'm not a vegetarian
I'm not a fuckin vegan
Not a fuckin vegetarian
Every day my stomach rumbles I'm so hungry that it hurts
I've come to the decision that this ain't gonna fuckin work
If we were cavemen we'd be the laughing stock of the clan
Get it through your head I'm a mother fucking meat eating man
When we got together I never thought it would end this way
But when you catch me eating meat I think you're gonna ring r.s.p.c.a (not okay)
I'm not a vegan
I'm not a vegetarian
I'm not a fuckin vegan
Not a fuckin vegetarian
I'm not a vegan
I'm not a vegetarian
That's why I'm leaving
I met a girl who says she's pescatarian
(at least you can BBQ fish)(bitch)
I don't trust tofu it pretends to be it's something its not
My father says if I turn vegetarian then I'll be shot
When she goes to the bathroom I just wish she had some meat inside
(cause) when all you eat is aubergines it makes it smell like someone died
All your friends are zombies and they're angry cause they're missing out on proteins
No one ran a marathon from only eating chick peas and broad beans
Something I don't get is the reason all the food you buy it costs more
Everything
This week are you vegan
Or this week are you vegetarian
Changing line the seasons
Indecisive fucking vegetarian
Commited meat treason
By a god damn vegetarian
Meat tastes so good seasoned
Not if you're a fucking vegetarian