Spunky-XL5[Verse 1]
The frost was on the window pane,
The world was wrapped in white,
I tumbled down the wooden stairs
By the tree's electric light.
And there they sat in piles so deep,
In paper, red and green,
The greatest loot a child could keep,
The finest ever seen.
[Chorus]
Oh, the packages were piled high,
A treasure to behold!
But I had just one simple cry,
One wish that must be told.
Forget the gold, forget the toy
That makes a noisy sound,
I only want the greatest joy
That ever could be found:
A NERF Super Soaker XP100-AP,
To arm me for a water w*r!
A hydro-blastin' guaranteed-to-lastin',
Plastic-water-throwin' marvel of the year!
[Verse 2]
I shook the box so big and square,
My heart was all a-flutter.
I heard no precious liquid there,
No trigger-springs a-stutter.
I tore the tape with hope so bright,
And then let out a groan,
For 'twas not my aqueous delight...
But seven pairs of socks I own!
One for every day, all wool and gray,
A thrilling sight, I must say… not.
[Chorus]
Oh, the packages were dwindling down,
My hope began to fade.
I saw no bright aquatic crown,
No barrel, blue and sprayed.
I spied a box both flat and long,
My spirit gave a leap!
Could this be where my dream belonged,
A promise it would keep?
For a NERF Super Soaker XP100-AP,
To drench my unsuspecting brother!
A hydro-blastin' guaranteed-to-lastin',
Plastic-water-throwin' marvel for no other!
[Verse 3]
I peeled the paper, slow and keen,
A picture came to view…
Of a top hat, a car, a board of green…
A MONOPOLY! Boo-hoo!
I'd get Park Place, I'd get the rail,
I'd get a useless deed!
But not a single water nail
For my perceived great need!
Just plastic cash and a tiny thimble,
A game that makes our whole family grumble!
[Final Chorus]
Now the paper's in a trash bag high,
The morn has lost its sheen.
With socks to warm my feet, I sigh,
And the dullest board you've seen.
I'll buy houses, I'll charge you rent,
While my dreams of glory mock her.
Another Christmas came and went
Without my Super Soaker!
That NERF Super Soaker XP100-AP,
They'll engrave it on my slab!
That hydro-blastin', guaranteed-to-lastin',
Plastic-water-throwin' marvel…
I got socks and Monopoly…
Merry Christmas, Dad.
