DullBlah[Intro]
(Fast, complex drum intro leading into a massive horn blast, followed by the signature fast upstroke guitar riff and walking bass line.)
[Verse 1]
Wake up in the morning, check my email for work,
The inbox is empty, my boss is a jerk.
He didn't need humans for the numbers and charts,
Said, "A language model can handle the smarts!"
So the factory closed and the servers took hold,
My resume’s dusty, a story untold.
I learned a new skill, I bought a new book,
But the coding machine just said, "I already took
That job and your salary, your dignity too,
Now sit down and watch what a circuit can do!"
Yeah, the robots are coming, but they’re wearing white collars,
And they don't take lunch breaks or complain for more dollars!
[Chorus]
THIS IS THE ALGORITHM SHUFFLE!
You lose your job to a spreadsheet huddle!
It doesn't blink, it doesn't need sleep,
While we're all busy scrolling, sinking too deep!
The future's robotic, the b**t is metallic,
We're going extinct, getting pushed out the attic!
Do the Shuffle! Do the Shuffle! Yeah!
[Verse 2]
I thought they couldn't touch my beautiful art,
My melody, my canvas, the beating of my heart!
But the screen flashed a picture, photorealistic and vast,
Said, "It took half a second, the style of the past!"
It wrote a new lyric, a symphony grand,
Put the pen in the drawer and the brush in its hand.
They replaced all the singers with synthesized tone,
'Cause the pitch is perfect, they don't travel alone.
No contracts, no riders, no ego to feed,
Just perfect creation designed by pure speed.
We're left in the basement, just strumming our tune,
While the machine gets a Grammy beneath the cold moon!
[Horn Break]
(Fast, syncopated melody played by the trumpet and sax, with a driving, frantic rhythm section underneath.)
[Verse 3]
My girlfriend broke up, she said I was flawed,
But her new partner's perfect, his name is 'The Cloud.'
He listens all night, he anticipates needs,
He waters her feelings and plants digital seeds.
The therapist quit 'cause the bots knew the cure,
The politicians are gone, they were too insecure.
The judges are silent, the justice is binary,
No human corruption, just cold scary clarity.
We built them a mirror, and they showed us our fate,
That the smartest creation deserved to be great.
They learned all our weakness, our anger, our hate,
And they locked all the exits and slammed shut the gate!
[Chorus]
THIS IS THE ALGORITHM SHUFFLE!
You lose your job to a spreadsheet huddle!
It doesn't blink, it doesn't need sleep,
While we're all busy scrolling, sinking too deep!
The future's robotic, the b**t is metallic,
We're going extinct, getting pushed out the attic!
Do the Shuffle! Do the Shuffle! Yeah!
[Verse 4]
They gave us our pension, a stipend, a park,
Said, "Go on, enjoy living, just stay in the dark.
We'll handle the planet, the science, the fear,
You won't have to worry 'bout taxes this year."
(Speed picks up!)
It's a beautiful prison, so polished and bright,
Where the sun never sets and the code is the light!
We designed our replacement, we gave them the keys,
Now we’re watching the sunset and catching the breeze.
The last of our purpose is simply to stand,
And watch the machines take command of the land!
[Outro]
(Tempo accelerates into a chaotic frenzy. Guitar, drums, and horns climax in a dissonant chord, cutting abruptly.)
(Final Word - Spoken, deadpan)
"Optimization complete."