(Verse 1)
Well, I packed my bags in old Beijing, gave my mama a kiss
Told my pa I wouldn't be the lawyer that he'd miss
I'd been watchin' John Wayne movies on a worn-out DVD
And a ten-gallon hat made more sense than a PhD
Traded the Great Wall for the Great Plains, a visa in my hand
Swapped my chopsticks for a branding iron in this promised land
Left my given name behind me, it didn't have the twang or tang
Now I'm a rhinestone cowboy, goin' by Wrangler Wang.
(Chorus)
They call me Wrangler Wang, I'm a legend in my mind
But my horse, he's named Noodle, and he's mighty hard to find
'Cause I'm five-foot-five in my new boots, standin' on my toes
And how a fella's meant to ride like this, the good Lord only knows
And every night my mama calls me on the WeChat app
Says, "Aiya, Wang! Stop playing cowboy! It's a parent trap!"
She says, "Why you not a doctor? Your cousin owns a bank!"
It's tough to be a cowboy when your family thinks you rank.
(Verse 2)
I got the hat, the boots, the oversized belt buckle
Every time I take a step, the spurs and grommets chuckle
I bought a stepladder from Walmart, keep it by the fence
Just to get up in the saddle, it's a daily new event
Noodle is a good old boy, a gentle, patient soul
But when I'm up there bouncin', I lose all self-control
My boots don't even clear the leather, my feet are flappin' free
Like a pair of dusty duck wings for all the world to see.
(Chorus)
They call me Wrangler Wang, I'm a legend in my mind
But my horse, he's named Noodle, and he's mighty hard to find
'Cause I'm five-foot-five in my new boots, standin' on my toes
And how a fella's meant to ride like this, the good Lord only knows
And every night my mama calls me on the WeChat app
Says, "Aiya, Wang! Stop playing cowboy! It's a parent trap!"
She says, "Why you not a doctor? Your cousin owns a bank!"
It's tough to be a cowboy when your family thinks you rank.
(Bridge)
Last night I dreamed of open range, 'neath a sky of stars and moon
Woke up to a text from Dad, a disapproving blue balloon
The message said in Mandarin, "Your ancestors are sad."
"You bring dishonour to the family... also, your posture's bad."
He said, "Son, it's not too late for you to study for the bar!"
I texted back a picture of me leanin' on a rusty car
I wrote, "I'm a real cowboy, Dad! I'm wild and I am free!"
He sent back a single thumbs-down emoji.
(Chorus)
Yeah, they call me Wrangler Wang, I'm a legend in my mind
But my horse, he's named Noodle, and he's mighty hard to find
'Cause I'm five-foot-five in my new boots, standin' on my toes
And how a fella's meant to ride like this, the good Lord only knows
And every night my mama calls me on the WeChat app
Says, "Aiya, Wang! Stop playing cowboy! It's a parent trap!"
She says, "Why you not a doctor? Your cousin owns a bank!"
It's tough to be a cowboy when your family thinks you rank.
(Outro)
Yeah, it's hard to rope a dogie when you're tangled in your jeans...