Intrusive Thoughts

I don't know why I am always in my head These Intrusive thoughts keep invading (Keep invading... invading... INVADING.) I don't know why I am always in my head Locked the door, but I'm sleeping with the d**d These Intrusive thoughts keep invading Watching the health bar drop to the floor I ain't the man that I was anymore Wife’s looking at me, she hates that I stopped But the miles on the truck meant the health got dropped Yeah, the road is the reason that it all went south Bitter taste of regret inside of my mouth If I crumble into dust, will the family stay? Or will they pack the bags and just walk away? Then the panic sets in, nowhere left to hide What if I lose the job? How do I provide? If the paycheck stops, then the house goes too The car gets taken, nothing I can do If the money is gone, will the family stick? Or will they leave me here, feeling cold and sick? Lose the home, lose the car, cut through the strife I would lose everything... I would lose my life I don't know why I am always in my head! These Intrusive thoughts keep invading! (They don't stop. THEY DON'T STOP.) These Intrusive thoughts keep invading Mouth shut tight, yeah I learned the drill Opinions are a weapon and they s***t to k**l But if I spoke the truth? If I crossed the line? I'd lose every friend, cut the family vine No one coming over, no one picking up the phone I’d be sitting in the silence, absolutely alone I’m the villain if I differ, yeah, I’m cast aside So I swallow up the anger and I let the spirit hide "Don't say that," "Don't think this"—man, I'm bound If I speak my mind, there won't be anyone around Morning comes and the spine won't move Stuck in the rut, yeah, stuck in the groove Pills on the counter, lining up in rows That’s the only help that the system knows She misses the money, she misses the drive I miss the days when I felt alive Trucking killed the health, yeah it took the toll Now I’m just a rust bucket losing control Unhealthy man, yeah, damaged goods Lost in the dark, deep in the woods Then the voices get loud, and they start to preach "You’re just an anchor on a beautiful beach." "If you cut the cord, man, the family would fly." "They’d be happy again if they told you goodbye." They whisper to me: "You’re just blocking the sun." "You’re a broken machine, and your shifting is done." And the world outside? It wouldn't skip a b**t Just one less shadow walking on the street "Do 'em a favor," the voices all said "They’re better off living without you ahead." There’s a thousand other things that are b*****g my chest But I can’t let ‘em out, gotta give it a rest If I spoke the real truth, If I said what I thought The w*r would begin and the battles would be fought All hell would break loose Yeah. All hell would break loose So I bury it deep Heh... heh... (Spoken Word, Dry, Deep Voice) "I'm the only one who gets you. You're better off..."