Executive rhapsody

Is this real life? > Is this just fantasy? > Caught in a Teams call, > No escape from bureaucracy. > Open our eyes, look at the time... > We're just four souls, > Trying to survive > This corporate climb... > > We came in with hope, > With strategy and drive, > Now we’re doing status updates > Seventy-five times. > Jabber’s blowing up, > Got pings on every side, > Our substantive roles > Have curled up and died. > > Because we're burnt out (burnt out!) > Understaffed (understaffed!) > Overwhelmed and overlooked, > Now we're done — we're out at last! > Our Teams doc resignation's signed > With dignity... and passive sass. > We'd fix it all — but no one asks. > > Updates here, updates there, > We report from thin air! > Every time we build a plan > You want the data pared and shared. > Performance art in spreadsheets, > And budgets drawn in b***d — > We gave you everything, > Now we’re walking out for good. > We'll rest our weary heads, > Maybe do some yoga, > Or remember how to blink, > Or just scroll memes on the sofa... > We’ll find peace > In things that don’t > Have KPIs attached... > > So farewell, dear Committee, > We’ll miss the coffee, not the stress. > We're off to find some purpose, > And maybe... slightly less > Of this. > We resign.