the mess that I am

Verse 1 Sitting on the floor, apartment upside down Head spinning, shattered heart, I might d***n No strength to be the a***t they wanted me to be The mess I am, it haunts every part of me Weak and cruel, selfish, full of shame I hate myself for everything, I know it’s my blame Three years ago, I dove into you You cared for me, loved me… I tried, but I never reached you Pre-Chorus So much time trying to fit in You gave your all, I just couldn’t begin I feel in debt, never worthy enough Maybe karma’s coming back, to punish my love Chorus I chose not to be loved, it hurts too much The mess that I am, the mess that I am It haunts me every night, it breaks me down The mess that I am, the mess that I am Did you see the good you gave? I lost my chance Now I watch you move on, leaving me in trance I scream at myself, these walls know my shame The mess that I am, I can’t escape this flame Verse 2 The goodbye I never gave face to face You begged me, I couldn’t bear your gaze Clinging to the past while you gave your heart I just wanted to escape, tear myself apart Fear and guilt trap me, I can’t breathe Choices from before weigh heavy on me You gave so much, I just tried to survive Now I see my failure, it cuts like a k***e Bridge Why should anyone go through this pain? Why can’t I even forgive myself again? I should be locked up, in my own mind’s prison Maybe I hate myself, my own sabotage is my vision Final Chorus I chose not to be loved, it hurts too much The mess that I am, the mess that I am It haunts me every night, it breaks me down The mess that I am, the mess that I am