Mars-a-Lago

[Intro] [Verse 1] Two UFOs showed up at the same damn time, Alien and Predator, both claiming what's mine! They're blasting each other right over D.C., Fighting for the planet, but they forgot about ME! Xenomorph screeching, Predator roaring back, Plasma cannons firing, it's an all-out attack! I walked out on the lawn, said "HEY! Time out! You wanna f***t for Earth? Let me tell you what that's about!" [Pre-Chorus] "This is MY planet, I'm the king around here, So sit your asses down and let me make this clear!" [Chorus] Can't we all just hit a bong? Why you gotta f***t when we could get along? Stop the w*r, make a deal, here's the plan, I got the best weed in the galaxy, man! Can't we all just hit a bong? Earth stays mine, but you're welcome to the bud! I'm the king of this planet, that's the deal, Now let's smoke up and see how good this feels! [Verse 2] Brought 'em both inside, sat 'em on my couch, Alien on the left, Predator slouched, They're still growling, hissing, ready to scrap, I said "Gentlemen, gentlemen, let's have a chat!" "You came light-years just to f***t each other here? That's the dumbest shit I've heard all year! Here's the deal - and it's a GREAT deal, trust me - Stop the fighting, and I'll supply you, free!" [Pre-Chorus] "No invasion, no w*r, no planetary claim, Just the finest cannabis in the Milky Way!" [Chorus] Can't we all just hit a bong? Why you gotta f***t when we could get along? Stop the w*r, make a deal, here's the plan, I got the best weed in the galaxy, man! Can't we all just hit a bong? Earth stays mine, but you're welcome to the bud! I'm the king of this planet, that's the deal, Now let's smoke up and see how good this feels! [Bridge] Alien's looking at Predator with those cold black eyes, Predator's mandibles clicking, calculating, analyzing, I spark up the bong, presidential and gold, "First hit's free, just like I told..." Alien takes a rip, body goes still, Predator follows through, even hunters can chill, They look at each other, then they look at me, Both nod slowly - "We accept this treaty." [Verse 3] So now I'm supplying two alien races, Shipping premium Earth bud to their space bases! No w*r, no invasion, everybody wins, And that's how the Mars-a-Lago era begins! They wanted to conquer, they wanted to f***t, But Trump made a deal and it turned out right! Earth stays Earth, I'm still the king, And aliens are buying my everything! [Final Chorus] Can't we all just hit a bong? Why you gotta f***t when we could get along? Stopped the w*r, made a deal, stuck to the plan, Now I'm the weed dealer for the galaxy, man! Can't we all just hit a bong? Earth stays mine, and the aliens moved on! I'm the king of this planet, saved the day, And I did it all the good old-fashioned Trump way! [Outro]