John Slacker-Man

[Intro] [Verse 1] When the clock strikes noon and the city’s in a jam, A yawn fills the air—it’s John Slacker-Man! He’s scrolling his phone, still half in a dream, But when trouble brews, he jumps to the scene! [Chorus] John Slacker-Man, John Slacker-Man, He’s the laziest hero in the land! From couch to crime f***t, he’ll lend a hand, “Just five more minutes!” is his battle stand! [Verse 2] In pajama pants and a coffee-stained shirt, He stumbles through chaos, but never gets hurt. The Procrastinator? He’ll b**t him…next week. Messy Mayhem’s reign? He’ll nap till it’s weak! [Chorus] John Slacker-Man, John Slacker-Man, He’s the laziest hero in the land! With snacks in his pockets and no real plan, He’ll save the day…whenever he can! [Bridge] The villains all laugh, “This guy’s a joke!” Till he trips on a couch and their plans go up in smoke! A yawn-powered blast, a snooze-button shield, John’s slow-mo moves make the bad guys yield! [Chorus] John Slacker-Man, John Slacker-Man, He’s the laziest hero in the land! No rush, no stress, just chill command, The world’s laid-back defender—John Slacker-Man! [Outro]