[Intro]
They say the first k**l change you.
They right.
It don’t make you a man…
It makes you a ghost.
And I been hauntin’ these hills ever since.
[Verse 1]
Wasn’t for glory, wasn’t for pride,
Wasn’t no threat—just a man who lied.
Promised bread for the trapline meat,
Then pulled that steel from beneath his seat.
I was twelve, maybe less, mud on my knees,
Fists too small, heart beatin’ in threes.
He swung, I ducked, he cursed my name,
So I reached for the rust and ended the game.
Blade in his gut, stare in his eye,
First time I saw a grown man die.
He screamed like a hog, squealed and thrashed,
Then silence hit harder than the final slash.
[chorus]
The first one screamed—loud and long,
Like the woods was rightin’ what went wrong.
He tried to take what fed my kin,
So I gave him back to the dark again.
*The first one screamed—now I don’t sleep,
He visit me sometimes, buried deep.
But I’d do it again, cold and mean…
‘Cause I ain’t the boy—I’m the scream.
[Verse 2]
Dragged his body to the ridge edge slow,
Let the coyotes judge what I let go.
I ain’t cried since, I don’t feel shame—
Just sharpen steel and remember names.
Mama asked why the meat come wet,
I said, “He ain’t comin’ back, so don’t fret.”
She lit a smoke, passed it near,
Said, “Good boys die… and you still here.”
That night I didn’t eat—I stared at stars,
Felt their silence settle deep in scars.
Didn’t bury him. Didn’t pray.
Just wiped the blade and walked away.
[Bridge]
He ain’t the last.
He wasn’t special.
But he was the first…
And that scream…
It stayed with me.
Became part of me.
Like the rust.
Like the hunger.
[chorus]
The first one screamed—loud and long,
Like the woods was rightin’ what went wrong.
He tried to take what fed my kin,
So I gave him back to the dark again.
*The first one screamed—now I don’t sleep,
He visit me sometimes, buried deep.
But I’d do it again, cold and mean…
‘Cause I ain’t the boy—I’m the scream.
[Outro]
They don’t hear it no more.
But I do.
Every time I close my eyes.
That scream…
That goddamn scream…
Taught me how to live.
