¡EL BAÑO, POR FAVOR!

(Cumbia/Reggaeton b**t starts, with an accordion and a driving dembow rhythm) **[Intro: Spanish]** (Singer's voice is smooth, full of hope) Noche de hambre, busco sabor Quiero algo bueno, por favor Veo la campana, una luz morada Una decisión muy, muy equivocada… **(The b**t picks up, becoming more urgent)** **[Verse 1: English]** I drive up to the window, what do I see? A "Gordita Crunch" is staring at me A shell made of Doritos, a Baja Blast freeze This isn't the food that my people would eat The beef is like gravel, the lettuce is pale A fast-food invention, a culinary fail **[Chorus: Spanglish]** ¡Ay, Taco Bell, Taco Bell, qué me has hecho! Tu mentira gringa destruye mi pecho This is not comida, it's a corporate disgrace Now I've got explosive diarrhea all over the place! **[Verse 2: Spanish]** Esa "carne molida" no sé de dónde es El queso amarillo parece de un mes La tortilla es triste, pálida y fría ¡Mi abuela llorando estaría este día! Llamarlo "mexicano" es un insulto f***l Es un desastre gastrointestinal **[Chorus: Spanglish]** ¡Ay, Taco Bell, Taco Bell, qué me has hecho! Tu mentira gringa destruye mi pecho This is not comida, it's a corporate disgrace Now I've got explosive diarrhea all over the place! **(B**t slows down for a dramatic bridge, with a lonely guitar strum)** **[Bridge: English]** One hour later, a rumble and a groan… A feeling of terror deep in my bones I'm sweating and praying, I'm clenching my cheeks The "Fire Sauce" warning is not for the weak I run for the bathroom, I slam shut the door A sound like a demon from folklore! **(B**t drops back in, faster and more intense than before!)** **[Chorus: Spanglish]** ¡AY, TACO BELL, TACO BELL, QUÉ ME HAS HECHO! ¡TU MENTIRA GRINGA DESTRUYE MI PECHO! THIS IS NOT COMIDA, IT'S A CORPORATE DISGRACE NOW I'VE GOT EXPLOSIVE DIARRHEA ALL OVER THE PLACE! **[Outro: Spanish]** (Music fades out with a final accordion wail and a toilet flushing sound effect) Nunca más… ¡ay, ay, ay! Busca una taquería… de verdad… ¡Ay, mi estómago! ¡EL BAÑO, POR FAVOR!