(Verse 1)
Packed my bags in old Beijing, gave my mama a kiss
Told pa I wouldn't be the lawyer that he'd miss.
I watched John Wayne on a worn-out DVD
A ten-gallon hat made more sense than a law degree.
Traded the Great Wall for the Great Plains, visa in my hand
Swapped chopsticks for a branding iron in this promised land.
Left my given name behind, it didn't have the twang or tang
Now I'm a rhinestone cowboy, goin' by Wrangler Wang.
(Chorus)
They call me Wrangler Wang, a legend in my mind
But my horse is named Kung Pao, and he's mighty hard to find.
I'm five-foot-five in my new boots, standin' on my toes
How a fella's meant to ride like this, God only knows.
Every night my mama calls me on a video chat
Says, "Aiya, Wang! Stop playing cowboy! It's a parent trap!"
She says, "Your cousin's a doctor with a fancy degree!"
It's tough to be a cowboy when they're ashamed of me.
(Verse 2)
I got the hat, the boots, the oversized belt buckle
Every time I take a step, the spurs and grommets chuckle.
I bought a stepladder from Walmart, keep it by the fence
Gettin' in the saddle's a daily event.
Kung Pao is a good old boy, a gentle, patient soul
But when I'm up there bouncin', I lose all self-control.
My boots don't clear the leather, my feet are flappin' free
Like dusty duck wings for the world to see.
(Chorus)
They call me Wrangler Wang, a legend in my mind
But my horse is named Kung Pao, and he's mighty hard to find.
I'm five-foot-five in my new boots, standin' on my toes
How a fella's meant to ride like this, God only knows.
Every night my mama calls me on a video chat
Says, "Aiya, Wang! Stop playing cowboy! It's a parent trap!"
She says, "Your cousin's a doctor with a fancy degree!"
It's tough to be a cowboy when they're ashamed of me.
(Bridge)
Last night I dreamed of open range, 'neath a sky of stars and moon
Woke up to a text from Dad, a disapproving blue balloon.
The message said in Mandarin, "Your ancestors are sad."
"You bring dishonor... also, your posture's bad."
He said, "Son, it's not too late to study for the bar!"
I texted back a picture of me leanin' on a rusty car.
I wrote, "I'm a real cowboy, Dad! I'm wild and I am free!"
He sent back a single thumbs-down emoji.
(Chorus)
Yeah, they call me Wrangler Wang, a legend in my mind
But my horse is named Kung Pao, and he's mighty hard to find.
I'm five-foot-five in my new boots, standin' on my toes
How a fella's meant to ride like this, God only knows.
Every night my mama calls me on a video chat
Says, "Aiya, Wang! Stop playing cowboy! It's a parent trap!"
She says, "Your cousin's a doctor with a fancy degree!"
It's tough to be a cowboy when they're ashamed of me.
(Outro)
Hard to rope a dogie when you're tangled in your jeans...
My phone buzzes, screen lights up another family scene.
The message asks if I'm okay and if my clothes are clean,
While Kung Pao's wanderin' off again, the mood is far from keen.
Yee-haw... I guess.