The Ballad of Billy and His Broken Boots

Verse 1 Well, I woke up in the morning with a pancake on my chest, My boots were in the freezer, and my hat had gone out west. I swear I heard the neighbor’s dog reciting Shakespeare in the yard, And my van won’t start unless I sing real hard. Chorus Oh Billy, Billy, why’d you k**k that cactus? Now your left foot looks like breakfast practice. We’re singing dumb songs ’cause the smart ones fail, And dancing like a scarecrow drunk on ginger ale. Verse 2 Tried fishing in the river but I caught a traffic cone, Tried calling my mama but I dialed a xylophone. A squirrel stole my sandwich, left me half a pistachio shell, And my horoscope just says: “Buddy… oh well.” Chorus Oh Billy, Billy, why’d you kiss that scarecrow? Now the whole darn valley thinks you’ve lost your halo. We’re singing dumb songs ’cause the smart ones bail, And riding through town on a broken pony tail. Bridge And the stars all whispered, “Man, you’re weird.” And the moon just laughed with its crescent beard. But I shrugged and said, “That’s life, I guess.” Then stepped in a puddle full of mayonnaise. Final Chorus Oh Billy, Billy, keep your boots untangled, Stop wrestling the windmills, you always end up mangled. We’re singing dumb songs ’cause the truth’s too pale, So pour another rhyme in the silver pail— Yeah, we’re folk and foolish without fail.